The ego defends against love, not fear. Pain in relationships can be perversely comfortable pain, in that is one we know. We’re used to it. I once heard a tape by Ram Dass, an American spiritual teacher, in which he told of seeing a newspaper article about an abused baby being taken away from his mother. As a police matron tried to take the baby, he kept struggling to remain in his mother’s arms. Although his mother was the one who beat him, she was the one he knew. He was used to her. He wanted to remain in familiar territory.This story illustrates our relationship to our own egos. The ego is our pain, but it is what we know, and we resist moving out of it. The effort it takes to grow out of painful patterns often feels more uncomfortable than remaining within them. Personal growth can be painful, because it can make us feel ashamed and humiliated to face our own darkness. But the goal of personal growth is the journey out of dark emotional patterns that cause us pain, to those that. This was now.Mandy was now married to her husband, Troy, and the sounds of that long ago whipping were still ringing in her ears when Troy walked into the room with his thick strap still in hand."Well? Do you have anything to say for yourself before we start?" he asked.The sound of his voice snapped her back to the present, she had begun to get turned on thinking about her father's whipping, and she had almost forgotten that she was about to receive another that would surely be at least as severe as that one for talking about one of her old boyfriend's big cocks at the dinner party tonight with the ladies on hand.She could only shake her head and murmer a soft "No, but I'm sorry Troy. I didn't mean to talk about them. It won't happen again." I know it won't Mandy," he said, "because after I'm done with your bottom you'll think twice before talking like that that again about your former boyfriends. Do you truly think I'm threatened by some 20-year old's big cock that fucked you a few.
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